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Wordperfect Help Line

> > >This is a true story from the Word Perfect help line.
 >> >Needless to say the help desk employee was fired;
 >> >however, the person is currently suing the Word
 >> Perfect
 >> >organization for "termination without cause". This
 >> is
 >> >from the taped conversation leading up to
 >> dismissal:
 >> >
 >> >"Word Perfect Technical Desk, may I help you?"
 >> >
 >> >"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with Word Perfect."
 >> >
 >> >"What sort of trouble?"
 >> >
 >> >"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden
 >> the
 >> >words went away."
 >> >
 >> >"Went away?"
 >> >
 >> >"They disappeared."
 >> >
 >> >"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
 >> >
 >> >"Nothing."
 >> >
 >> >"Nothing?"
 >> >
 >> >"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
 >> >
 >> >"Are you still in Word Perfect, or did you get
 >> out?"
 >> >
 >> >"How do I tell?"
 >> >
 >> >"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
 >> >
 >> >"What's a sea-prompt?"
 >> >
 >> >"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the
 >> >screen?"
 >> >
 >> >"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't
 >> accept
 >> >anything I type!"
 >> >
 >> >"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
 >> >
 >> >"What's a monitor?"
 >> >
 >> >"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks
 >> like a
 >> >TV.
 >> >
 >> >"Does it have a little light that tells you when
 >> it's
 >> >on?"
 >> >
 >> >"I don't know."
 >> >
 >> >"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and
 >> find
 >> >where the power cord goes into it. Can you see
 >> that?"
 >> >
 >> >"Yes, I think so."
 >> >
 >> >"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if
 >> >it's plugged into the wall."
 >> >
 >> >".......Yes, it is."
 >> >
 >> >"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice
 >> that
 >> >there were two cables plugged into the back of it,
 >> not
 >> >just one?"
 >> >
 >> >"No."
 >> >
 >> >"Well, there are. I need you to look back there
 >> again
 >> >and find the other cable."
 >> >
 >> >"Okay, here it is."
 >> >
 >> >"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged
 >> securely
 >> >into the back of your computer."
 >> >
 >> >"I can't reach."
 >> >
 >> >"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
 >> >
 >> >"No."
 >> >
 >> >"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and
 >> lean
 >> >way over?"
 >> >
 >> >"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle
 >> >-it's because it's dark."
 >> >
 >> >"Dark?"
 >> >
 >> >"Yes -the office light is off, and the only light I
 >> >have is coming in from the window."
 >> >
 >> >"Well, turn on the office light then."
 >> >
 >> >"I can't."
 >> >
 >> >"No? Why not?"
 >> >
 >> >"Because there's a power outage."
 >> >
 >> >"A power... A power outage? Aha, Okay, we've got it
 >> >licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals
 >> and
 >> >packing stuff your computer came in?"
 >> >
 >> >"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
 >> >
 >> >"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack
 >> it
 >> >up just like it was when you got it. Then take it
 >> back
 >> >to the store you bought it from."
 >> >
 >> >"Really? Is it that bad?"
 >> >
 >> >"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
 >> >
 >> >"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell
 >> them?"
 >> >
 >> >"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."