Some examples of why the human race has probably
>evolved as far as
>> possible. These are actual instruction labels on
>consumer goods:
>>
>> On Sears hairdryer:
>> Do not use while sleeping.
>> (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my
>hair!)
>>
>> On a bag of Fritos:
>> You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
>Details inside.
>> (The shoplifter special!)
>>
>> On a bar of Dial soap:
>> Directions: Use like regular soap.
>> (and that would be how?)
>>
>> On some Swann frozen dinners:
>> Serving suggestion: Defrost.
>> (But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
>>
>> On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
>> Fits one head.
>> (The big one or the little one?)
>>
>> On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of
>the box)
>> Do not turn upside down.
>> (Too late! You lose!)
>>
>> On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
>> Product will be hot after heating.
>> (Are you sure??? Let's experiment.)
>>
>> On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
>> Do not iron clothes on body.
>> (But wouldn't that save more time?)
>> (Whose body?)
>>
>> On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
>> Do not drive car or operate machinery.
>> (We could do a lot to reduce the construction
>accidents
>> if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork
>lifts.)
>>
>> On Nytol sleep aid:
>> Warning: may cause drowsiness.
>> (One would hope!)
>>
>> On a Korean kitchen knife:
>> Warning: keep out of children.
>> (or pets! What's for dinner?)
>>
>> On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
>> For indoor or outdoor use only.
>> (As opposed to use in outer space???)
>>
>> On a Japanese food processor:
>> Not to be used for the other use.
>> (Now I'm curious..........)
>>
>> On Sainsbury's peanuts:
>> Warning: contains nuts.
>> (but no peas?)
>>
>> On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
>> Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
>> (have a lobotomy)
>>
>> On a Swedish chainsaw:
>> Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
>genitals.
>> (What is this, a home castration kit?)
>>
>> On a child's Superman costume:
>> Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
>> (That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief)