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THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME 

>            - Submitted by Gregory Osborn
>         ____________________________________

>  My Mother taught me LOGIC...
>  "If you fall off that swing and break your neck,
>  you can't go to the store with me."

>  My Mother taught me MEDICINE...
>  "If you don't stop crossing your eyes,
>  they're going to freeze that way."

>  My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD...
>  "If you don't pass your spelling test,
>  you'll never get a good job!"

>  My Mother taught me ESP...
>  "Put your sweater on; don't you think that
>  I know when you're cold?"

>  My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE...
>  "What were you thinking?
>   Answer me when I talk to you...Don't talk back to me!"

>  My Mother taught me HUMOR...
>  "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes,
>  don't come running to me."

>  My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT...
>  "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.

>  My mother taught me ABOUT SEX...
>  "How do you think you got here?"

>  My mother taught me about GENETICS...
>  "You are just like your father!"

>  My mother taught me about my ROOTS...
>  "Do you think you were born in a barn?"

>  My mother taught me about the WISDOM of AGE...
>  "When you get to be my age, you will understand."

>  My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...
>  "Just wait until your father gets home."

>  My mother taught me about RECEIVING...
>  You are going to get it when we get home.

>  and my all time favorite thing- JUSTICE
>  "One day you will have kids, and I hope they
>  turn out just like YOU..then you'll see
>  what it's like."