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"Special Occasions"


> > >> >    This is more embarrassing for my mother than
> > >> for me because I
> > >> >    wasn't quite four years old when it happened.
> > >> My mother taught me
> > >> >    to read when I was 3 years old (her first
> > >> mistake).
> > >> >
> > >> >    One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one
> > >> of the cabinet
> > >> >    door was ajar. I read the box in the cabinet. I
> > >> then asked my
> > >> >    mother why she was keeping napkins in the
> > >> bathroom. Didn't they
> > >> >    belong in the kitchen? Not wanting to burden me
> > >> with unnecessary
> > >> >    facts she told me that those were for special
> > >> occasions.
> > >> >
> > >> >    Now fast forward a few months. It's
> > >> Thanksgiving Day, and my
> > >> >    folks are leaving to pick up the pastor and his
> > >> wife for dinner.
> > >> >    Mom had assignments for all of us while they
> > >> were gone. Mine was
> > >> >    to set the table.
> > >> >
> > >> >    When they returned, the pastor came in first
> > >> and immediately
> > >> >    burst into laughter. Next came his wife who
> > >> gasped, then began
> > >> >    giggling. Next came my father, who roared with
> > >> laughter. Then
> > >> >    came mom, who almost died of embarrassment when
> > >> she saw each
> > >> >    place setting on the table with a "special
> > >> occasion" napkin at
> > >> >    each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on
> > >> top. I had even
> > >> >    tucked the little tails in so they didn't hang
> > >> off the edge. My
> > >> >    mother asked me why I used these and, of
> > >> course, my response sent
> > >> >    the other adults into further fits of laughter.
> > >>
> > >> >
> > >> >    "But Mom, you SAID they were for special
> > >> occasions!