"Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent
the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my
financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are
my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have
plenty of money."
"Hi. (pause) Now you say something."
"Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you
can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep."
"Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?"
"Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his
refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to
myself with one of these magnets."
"My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets
are clean. They give to charity through their church and do not need
their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number
and they will get back to you."